Sunday, 8 November 2015

Up there, a Buzzard!

Thought-up in London, written in Lancashire.  




The shhh, shhh, shhh of moorland grass
I followed better than any voice
Those boots and mac, patch-work, second-hand
Bound into making ‘not even the smallest noise’
You said, your eyes embracing sky
And giving me, still encased, the map
With the pattern of contours beaming there
Wind-bitten fingers feeling the fabric strap.


I tested the breeze as you looked up
Assuming my future through the face
As the familiar smell of wet wool seeped through
The coffee granules dredged beneath the nails.
Permitted to declare ‘the spot’, we rested
Unmarked by route but allowed by sense
I was a child and this was not ‘authority’
But something better, something else.


The tinfoil cracked open for sandwiches, fruit
Looked somehow dull against the stone
Where we ate, cheese, the smack of salad cream
Ground into bread, like slate takes chalk.
It was that familiar combination of the press
Of home, hours spent on places, not the path
Which spoke through the warmth of your shaken head
As I asked if you could fasten the laces, dad.


Rain had faced us with its own animal
Had pushed our cheeks and steamed your glasses
When suddenly, your hand outreached
As if preparing the grasp of something magic.
‘Look!’ You beamed ‘Up there, a buzzard!’
A flickering comma on the sentence of the sky
And there the narrative, the hover, hover
The sensation you had shared too, in time.


Now the sky I see has been named ‘London’
200 miles away a woman, walking for cover
The stone is facing down - in the sound of the station
Though I hear your voice still, and wait for the hover.
                                                                                                                Hover.


Saturday, 7 November 2015

Hebden

It didn’t make me think
Of the earth-grey scar
Which smiled across her abdomen
As she inched on the clothes for work
-          Not then anyway, barely ten
And the canal and its town an enigma yet.


She made me hold her hand, taking pictures
Giving coldness back with
Bad circulation. Dad smiled underneath a Plastic mac.
To capture a sense of surprise
He’d parked the car at a distance.


Still all natural to me then
The bridges where I would hide
Uncertain why the fear would peak
Like images, through mother’s eyes.
I dragged the dirt
And them, each other
As I broke bread from towpath
Like confetti
Onto water.


Still a daughter, still impromptu
Using bread to stop the tongue
It tasted raw then, stale-fizzed, revisited
The domestic less miserable
I yelled ‘come on!’
I thought we were going to miss the town
And stay looking at this aisle forever
-          The water where we overtook
And waved at the boats still slow and pleasant.
A pantomime for other stares
We were then
But perhaps it was only I who knew
Playing at families like a gem


And the chimney ahead was treasure
Not a ‘view’.
Like the a man who worked a lock, no keys
I tried to understand, but thought it odd
The sense of fulfilment as his body heaved
-          Parents seemed invited there to watch.


Their faces in the cold, half-touched,
The water extending, like a jetty
All day I tried to curve it with
Squeezed-shut eyes
Like wishing for time
But feeling memory.